I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
