There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize
