I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
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