my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
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