if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Randomize
