The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
