He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Randomize
