My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Randomize
