do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
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