Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
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