what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Randomize
