I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Randomize
