how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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