Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Randomize
