i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Randomize
