My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
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