he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
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