I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
Randomize
