I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
Randomize
