so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
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