dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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