I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
