and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
Your cock deserves a montage
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
Randomize
