there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
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