I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
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