Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
Randomize
