Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Randomize
