why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Randomize
