I cannot find my penis.
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
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