This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
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