My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize