im gay
i know
yea but for you.
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
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