two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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