I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
