Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
