Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
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