Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
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