Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
