Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
Randomize
