i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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