I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
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