Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
Randomize
