I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
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