I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
