i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
I just gargled with NyQuil
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
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