Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
Randomize
