awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
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