i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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