That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
Randomize
