ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
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