farters have to be the big spoon...
smell my finger.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
