Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
