i would punch a child for taco bell
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
