And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
I just sucked dick on a ferry
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
