He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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