If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
Randomize
