youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
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