what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Randomize
