What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
You took a bar mat shot.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
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